Digital Wellness For Parents and Caregivers

Technology is a big part of our lives – at home, at school, and everywhere in between. It helps us stay connected, learn new things, and have fun. It’s important to have information on digital wellness for the whole family. This ensures everyone uses technology in a safe, balanced, and healthy way.

These tips change as your family does, so make sure to adjust based on what is appropriate.

• Balance time with and without devices
  • It can be easy to lose track of time while on your phones, tablets, or games. Try to make time each day for things like playing outside, doing chores, or just relaxing without screens.
• Be a role model
  • Kids learn by watching. Set a good example by showing them a healthy balance and following the same rules.
• Have screen-free mealtimes
  • Use mealtimes for family bonding. This teaches kids not to get distracted by technology.
• Turn off screens before bed
  • Using screens before bedtime can mess up how much and how well you or your children sleep. Turning off screens at least an hour before sleep can help everyone get ready for bed.
• Talk to kids about social media and create a family media plan
  • Being curious and listening to children allows them to feel heard. They may also be more open to hearing about how to reduce risky behavior. Some things to talk about:
    • Why sleep, family time, and other healthy habits matter
    • How to pick good and positive content
    • Non-tech ways to manage emotions and boredom
    • Staying safe online and using privacy settings
    • How social media algorithms work or ways to reset the algorithm together

Every child is different, and so is their relationship with technology. 

A young person’s digital wellness isn’t just about screen time. It can be influenced by things like their environment, role model behavior, age, and development. Remember that young children learn by observing the adults around them. Each child is unique so keep in mind that your child may develop at varying rates.

Families With Children Birth to Preschool

This is a critical stage with rapid brain development, exploration, and learning. The use of digital media at this stage should be limited and thoughtful. Young children need activities like hands-on learning, imaginary play, and caregiver interactions during this stage. After the age of two, digital media can be a helpful tool when used purposely and with a trusted adult. Co-viewing of age-appropriate media helps guide your child’s use of media and screen time. Look for vetted and developmentally appropriate options on Common Sense.

• Limit your screen time around your child
  When you are spending time with your children, it’s best to limit screens or other devices. You’ll have more time to focus on them, plus you’ll show them the importance of face-to-face interaction.
• Use video chat to connect with family and friends 
  Encourage people to talk directly to your child during the call. This can help improve communication skills and build connections.
• Notice how your child interacts with media
  • Smart speakers such as Alexa or Google Home are devices that children use to play music, chat with, or get information. Research shows that many children may believe AI like Alexa is real.
  • Check your child’s attention span. Watch for when your child breaks their gaze and looks elsewhere or appears to be losing interest. Use this is a guide for how long they should view a screen before moving on to other activities.
  • Try not use screens to manage your child’s emotions or calm a tantrum, as this may create dependence.
  • Select shows, movies, and books that feature differences including gender, race, and ability. Ask questions or make observations, such as: “Daniel Tiger calls his Grampy ‘Grandpere’. People sometimes use different words than we do, what do you think about that?”.

Families With Grade School to Tween Children

• Model good online behavior
  • Show your child how to use digital media wisely. Use social media to share positive posts and avoid negative ones. Explain that their online actions can be seen by others. As they use social media, teach them how their words can impact others.
• Involve your child in media choices
  • Talk to your child about the media they use. Ask why they like certain devices, apps, or games. This helps your child feel heard and can prevent problems with too much media use. You decide what's best, even if your child disagrees, but explain your reasons.
• Access to online presence
  • When creating accounts for apps or games, do it with your child. Discuss safety and privacy and decide on permissions together. Some apps offer family settings so you can control screen time, which you can change as your child grows. You don't need to check all the time, but they should know you're involved.
• Balance online and real life
  • Children need to play, create, and talk with others face-to-face. Too much screen time can lead to health issues like obesity and problems with sleep or regulating emotions. Encourage outdoor play, sports, and reading, along with thoughtful digital activities.

Families With Tween to Young Adult

• Help your teen get enough sleep
  • Teens need 8-10 hours of sleep a night. Using screens can make it harder for them to sleep. They might feel like they need to be online for friends or fear missing out. Talk to them about why they stay up late and help them plan for better sleep. Set a specific bedtime and consider keeping devices out of their bedroom.
• Address cyberbullying
  • Teens may face or witness bullying. Being bullied raises the risk of depression and anxiety. Cyberbullying victims might hide their device or seem upset after being online. They might not tell their parents if they are experiencing bullying. Regularly talk with your teen about what they see and hear online. Ask questions like, “Has anything upset you online?” Reporting bullying is important. If your teen is bullied, even in revenge, talk about what happened and how everyone felt. Find ways to deal with cyberbullying.
• Discuss cell phones and driving
  • Distracted driving is dangerous. Teach teens to turn off and place phones out of reach when driving. Set expectations and consequences for unsafe driving. Such as losing car keys if they text while driving. Be a role model and don’t use your phone while driving.
• Talk about AI and new technologies
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI), like smart speakers or ChatGPT, are popular. Many teens know about AI and some use it for school. Most think it’s fine for research but not for writing essays. Talk to your teen about AI use, as it’s a new issue in schools. AI can learn from existing info, influencing users. Discuss AI use, its risks, and the consequences of misuse. Learn about the new technology together. You can learn more helpful info on AI from Common Sense or Children and Screens.

How to know if they are ready for a device?

Is it time for a smart device? Here are some things to consider.

• Can your child take care of their things without reminders? Do they do their homework on their own?  Are they safe taking themselves around the community on public transit or a bike? Do they make themselves lunch for school?
• Think about how a phone might affect your child's worries, sleep habits, or "fear of missing out" (FOMO).
• Check with community groups or other parents for ideas on how they handle things.
• For neurodivergent kids, seek help and advice from their therapist and care teams.

Before giving them a device

It’s important to talk about rules and boundaries before giving your child a device.

• Your child might not need all the cool features of the newest phone. Consider a simple phone that can only text and call. If it does have more features, consider using parental controls.
• If your child lives in different homes, try to have similar rules about technology use.
• Pay attention to the age restrictions and limitations on social media.  Then consider your child’s level of maturity and enjoy age-appropriate media. Set clear rules about phone and device ownership.

Kids and Video Games

Video games have become a popular part of modern culture. They can be a fun and engaging way to relax and connect with others.  Like any online activity, it’s important to stay safe while playing. Here are some tips to help you and your child stay safe while playing:

• Learn about the games your child wants to play.
• Look at the game's rating label. If it says “users interact,” it means players can talk to others.
• Set boundaries and Parental Controls
  • Decide if they can talk to friends or strangers.
  • Remind them to keep personal info (like last name, address, school name) private.
  • Check the device settings to limit usage. These can be changed anytime.
• Talk to your child about:
  • The rules for the game.
  • How to treat others while playing.
  • What to do if someone asks for personal info or is mean.
  • Look for ways to block, mute, or report players in the game. Take screenshots and save the user ID for reporting.
• Stay Involved – Share in your child's favorite activity. Make video games a family activity.

It can be hard to manage the use of digital media in your family. Creating a Family Media Plan (en Espanol) brings structure and balance to everyone’s digital media. You and your children can use the plan to set boundaries and help promote digital wellness. Here are some steps you can take to help when creating one:

Getting Ready:

• Think about how old your kids are, how they learn, and what devices or apps they’ll use.
• Think about your family's values.
• Look at the questions in the family media plan and think about how to safely use devices.
• Pick a good time to talk and plan for future talks if needed.

Discussion Time:

• Listen to everyone’s ideas with an open mind.
• Make sure everyone gets a turn to talk. Swap who reads and answers questions.
• Provide a safe space to talk about serious topics. These can include things like inappropriate content and how to handle upsetting things online.
• If someone feels nervous about a question, skip it and come back later.

After Talking:

• Celebrate finishing the plan! Do something fun together!
• Write down or print your family's plan and put it somewhere easy to see.
• Plan times to see how things are going and change the plan if needed.
• Update the plan as your child grows and things change.

These tips support wellness while using technology in a safe, balanced, and healthy way. Want more tips on wellness? You can find activities to do in place of using a device, or ways to balance your time on the Taking Care of Yourself and Supporting Your Resiliency pages.

Difficulty with digital media may look like problems with mental health. Here are some ways to tell if your youth is struggling with their mental health.

• Changes in behavior including:
  • social withdrawal or self-isolation
  • increased irritability, mood changes, or feelings of hopelessness
  • changes in sleep or eating patterns.
  • dropping grades or frequent absences from school
  • risk-taking behavior like engaging in self-harm or substance misuse.
• Families with younger children might notice physical complaints such as:
  • unexplained tiredness
  • headaches
  • stomach aches

If you notice any of these, it may be time to seek help from a mental health professional.